Bearing the Load of Neurodivergence
The weight of being different can feel overwhelming. I was born divergent, and for much of my life, carrying that uniqueness has often felt like bearing an unyielding 500-pound barbell. It presses down on every movement, making it hard to breathe and immobilizing me as I struggle to rise above the challenges. Embracing the Neurodivergent Gift As someone with neurodiverse traits, my brain functions in unique ways that significantly influence how I interpret, process, and interact with the world around me. Being gifted does not imply that I excel in every area; rather, it means that I have strong abilities in certain aspects while also facing real challenges in others. My upbringing was marked by instability, unresolved trauma, and abuse, which intensified my feelings of erasure. Lacking meaningful support, my inner world turned into a place of confusion and growing disconnection. From a young age, I felt like I was living alongside the world instead of being fully part of it, constantly searching for a sense of belonging in a society that was unprepared to accommodate minds like mine. These experiences left deep emotional scars that shaped my understanding of connection, safety, and self-worth. Navigating a Neurotypical World Social situations, daily interactions, subtle social cues, and language have often made me feel like I was attending a party to which I had never been invited but kept showing up nonetheless. As a child, I struggled with excessive absences from school, which even led to involvement from a truancy officer. For years, I invested energy into masking—hiding the parts of myself that didn’t align with neurotypical standards. This continual self-erasure was not only exhausting but also isolating, leading to deep-seated feelings of inadequacy and shame. The pressure to conform and suppress my identity in order to meet external expectations left me emotionally depleted and questioning my intrinsic worth. Finding Power in Pain Within my pain, I discovered my power. Adversity became a crucible, forging resilience, insight, and compassion in me. The experiences that once made me feel broken laid the foundation for a deeper connection both with myself and with others. What I once viewed as weakness turned into the building blocks of my strength. My challenging experiences have fostered deep empathy and provided me with an understanding of hardship, resilience, and marginalization, enabling me to connect with others navigating similar paths. Celebrating Neurodivergence Through personal reflection, acceptance, healing, and growth, I’ve come to celebrate my neurodivergency. What once felt like a curse has revealed itself as my greatest asset. These same differences that once isolated me now fuel my creativity, inspire my curiosity, and grant me a unique lens through which I see the world and science . My neurodivergence has become my superpower, driving me to imagine boldly, think unconventionally, and envision solutions and possibilities from a perspective that would not be considered. Reflecting on this journey brings to mind the words of Albert Einstein, a brilliant neurodivergent thinker, who once said, “I am thankful to everyone who said no—because of them, I am doing it myself.” That sentiment echoes in my journey. Each rejection, each obstacle, became a stepping stone. When acknowledged and transformed, adversity does not signal defeat but rather initiates a powerful journey of purpose, personal growth, and profound self-discovery. “Empowering Physical Education Today to Elevate Performance Tomorrow.”-Dr. Blake Tobin DPT.